Are you selfish? You should be.

You know, I’m not a huge fan of the word “selfish.” It has pretty yucky connotations–self-absorbed, lacking consideration for others, egotistical. Because of this, people avoid it like the plague, right?! No one wants to be labeled as a selfish person. I get that. Honestly, I don’t want that label either.

Somehow though, this “selfish” monster has spread out it’s ugly wings, gotten a hold of normal, necessary, and vital life acts and experiences and slapped a big, old, ugly “selfish” label on them. Let me explain…

In everyday life, would you consider these things “selfish”?

:: speaking up for yourself

:: taking a shower or a hot bath

:: going on a date night with your partner

:: enjoying quiet moments alone to meditate, read, or journal

:: strengthening friendships over coffee

No, right?

Now think of them in the context of a brand new mama’s life. If she wants to take a shower instead of hang out with her baby, it’s selfish. If she wants to go out on a coffee date with a friend or have dinner out with her hubby instead of staying home to care for her little one, she’s selfish. If she chooses to take time for self-care and put her needs above her child’s, even just briefly, she’s selfish. If she speaks up about her needs, wants, goals instead of baby’s first, she’s selfish. See where I’m going here…

So, while I don’t like that these choices are defined as selfish, I also know that it’s a slim chance that we’ll be able to change how the world at large labels stuff. So, if going on a date night, practicing self-care, taking a hot shower, and catching up with friends is “selfish,” then, heck, we should all try to out-selfish each other, mama!

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